Money, God, And Other Drugs

by Worst Days Down

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about

4 Songs from debut album 'Money, God and Other Drugs,' out October 11th 2012.

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released August 31, 2012

all music/words/delusion by Ben Sir

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about

Worst Days Down Edmonton, Alberta

A punk rock band based in Edmonton, Alberta. Initially started by vocalist/guitarist Ben Sir in 2011 as an acoustic project, it transitioned to a full band at the beginning of 2014.
Featuring members of notable Edmonton bands such as Audio/Rocketry, Fire Next Time and Desiderata, Worst Days Down aim to record, perform and tour as many places as possible.
New album 'Elsewhere' coming Fall 2016.
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Track Name: The Crossing
I fled that place, I ignored the masses, I’m a beggar drinking from a noble glass
And I don’t deserve the view on this island, or the pain that came with love’s violence
Was I curious, or was this escape? There was nothing left for me in that place
So I embarked off for something new, now I sit above this emerald blue
I thought water this color, might have been a lie
The night is calm and so am I

I will exhale slowly then count myself lucky
There’s beauty just below my feet and a rolling sky above me
And though there have been lessons, I wish I’d never learned
I’ve seen people set now it’s my turn

To show myself what I know I’m made of, kuz disillusion it isn’t native
To who we are or what we can be, so I’ll walk these foreign unfamiliar streets
With humble eyes and the boldest intentions, where S.A.D is never claimed or mentioned
Ignoring any other circumstance, beyond what’s right in front of me, or in my hands
And I’ll pick myself up, when I surely fall
When I miss home or her or nothing at all

I will breathe in deeply and then I’ll count my blessings
I’m a million miles from what’s easy and the things that I’ve been stressing
And I will regain faith by singing songs about how I lost it
I’m leaving all my doubts at the nearest crossing
Track Name: Where The Night Grows Darkest
I was taken to a place, a place that breaks it all down
Where tragic lives and the best intentions lay buried in the potter’s ground
Where people shed tears of joy, where people just cry
Where people devote themselves completely and never question why
We came from all corners with vague ideas of what it meant to help
Hoping to learn of the world at large along with some things about ourselves
It was a different language, what I spoke and I felt inside
And for the first time I felt like I deserved my rest at night

I’ve run my body ragged off excess and manual labour
But money, God, and other drugs ain’t ever been my saviour
And I’ve called home to east-end ghettos and nice downtown apartments
I found more guiding light where the night grows darkest
Where the night grows darkest

They taught an education I haven’t found on streets or schools
Life or death, stillness or breath, and other unforgiving rules
The men held their patience, and animals held my heart
And I went to bed with a purpose well-fed, embraced in the jungle’s dark

I’ve slept on friends and strangers floors, and the back of punk rock vans
I’ve wiped stains of blood and complacency off my hands
And I’ve seen many footprints stray from what path seems hardest
I’m gonna be unafraid to charge into the darkness
When I first met Vigo, we tried to make him a home
Sick and scared, we fed and held him so he wouldn’t feel alone
I sang to him on morning, I buried him that night
I watched him breathe his final breaths before the sun had set out of sight

And I went to bed so goddamn angry
I went to bed so damn confused
I went to bed hating what the pessimists keep saying
Kuz I have seen what we have lose
There’s so much left to lose
Track Name: Antigua
It rained again last night like it has the three nights before
But rain can’t keep my body behind these doors
He said that friends and strangers, can be so damn deceiving
He says we’re solitary creatures, but I don’t believe him
The stone saints crumble on the park cathedrals
Watching over the hustlers and passing people
Ex-pats, ex-cons, ex-lovers, and everyone between
Some still drunk from the night before, some clean

I hiked to a cross overlooking the city, and all of my decisions
Identifying failures, clutching to optimism
The Sunday Catholics, said their prayers, I sat with silent perspective
I’m a million miles from everywhere, what’s my objective?

I was swinging through a day of broken conversation; we are our only authors, overcoming isolation
I don’t think we’re ever hopeless as long as we trade threat for promise
We are our only saviours, in search of something honest
Track Name: Iowa Won't Wait Forever
I see you crying across this church-room floor
Your Grandma aint sitting where she was two weeks before
The casket line, it grows and grows, too many this month is all I know
Your favourite souls are somewhere else tonight
Death took me back to that gravel Iowa road
Grandpa can’t do the chores kuz his flesh has run cold
Grandma says she’ll never move from the farm, where they raised kids and horses we’ll bury her heart
The boys carry the casket; the others lock their arms tonight

Us Grandkids have been drowning in a world of choice
Our relatives smile at the sounds of our voice
They’ve worked all along, to leave the stage poised
Knowing Iowa won’t wait forever

And We sing the songs we think they’d like to hear
And We say we won’t be defined by what we fear
If we live brave and our courage burns strong
No loss is in vain and no life’s ever gone
With our childhood refrains, The Dead sing along
The Dead will sing us to sleep every night

And We sing the songs we think they’d like to hear
And We say we won’t be defined by what we fear
So boys let’s pick up these pens and guitars
We’ve never found solace in a house or a bar
Come on let’s be men, and follow through these plans
Kuz folks living and dead have shown faith in all that we are
Track Name: Bring It Home
I’m sick of talking dreams, let’s discuss the way it is
If your dreams are only words they aren’t worth a pint of piss
And it’s been so damn long since we were kids, kids, kids
If you got a troubled mind then bring it home
I met my friends in Florida, we had our own lives to report
Conversations turn serious after some bottles and the shit we’d snort
The far between victories and where we’re coming up short, short, short
But we got high hopes for each other so we bring them home

If you’re hunting doubt, I’m sure that you’ll find plenty
It’s the most common symptom of our twenties

Miller and Loaf mean the world to me and they’ve moved to different coasts
When I’m around them I feel stagnant and haunted by the same old ghosts
But the laughs they come so easy and that’s what matters most, most, most
They challenge me to be better so I bring it home
They make this life worth living so I take it home

But I got some faith in them, and they hold the same for me
My clothes and soul are ragged but I feel so damn lucky
I found some shreds of fulfillment in musical poverty
And that’s more than most folks ever bring home
Track Name: Sleepwalkers
Three nights straight she went to bed screaming
That’s all that she could do when she woke up
It’s a cycle I see her repeating
She writes it off as a sacrifice made for love
Un-rested in the mornings she clings to believing
In empty promises, romance and the myths above
And all along she knows what it’s really meaning
That her broken heart keeps holding to a broken love

Sleepwalkers pay no attention
And sleepwalkers ignore the truth
Sleepwalkers pay no attention
They live their lives afraid of what they might lose

You got a boyfriend who doesn’t love you
You got a husband who don’t come home at night
You got a girlfriend who won’t even touch you
Everything looks fine in a liar’s light
You used to see clear waters when you were dreaming
Now you only wish you could sleep sound
You’re holding on to something kuz it’s convenient
The love you always wanted has let you down
And the hands that you don’t trust can seem so soothing
The words that they don’t mean can ease your mind
But when you look into the mirror just who are you fooling?
You can’t build a future just thinking of the better times

And I’ve lied to myself before
I’ve lied to myself more than once or twice
I held onto things that needed dying
But lying to ourselves won’t help us sleep at night
I’ve lied to myself before
I’ve lied to myself more than once or twice
Fuck heartbreak, fuck yesterday
We can waste our whole lifetimes away
But lying to ourselves won’t help us sleep at night
Track Name: Disastour
I sit outside another cancelled show
The mountains loom indifferently and coat my guitar with snow
It’s just another speed-bump on this highway of disaster
I smoke, I sigh and question why and what it is I’m after
I think of the optimism gained from months abroad
Writing songs and stories, finding pieces of myself that I thought I’d lost
Drinks and views, all kinds of bad news, types I will not mention
Clocking miles and the kind of smiles that could answer any question

But coming home didn’t go as planned, my last few dollars in my hand
Jobless, unsure of what’s next and without a place to stay
Some friends were quick to open their doors, a sleeping bag on a hard-wood floor
Their expressions always seem to say
Why the fuck are you smiling?
What right do you have to be content?
But if this life ended right now I’d say it was time well spent

I threw some songs together about my bullshit observations
Scribbled words about sex and love, cheap drinks and globalization
Plucked the chords on rusted strings at bar and basement shows
This terminal wanderlust came back, I had to hit the road

Threw myself to highway 5 south’s plans, with 2 great friends in a mini-van
Broke down in rural Washington, 3 days in Portland rain
Farther than I’d ever played from home, a cancelled Las Vegas show
Busking on a casino bridge, the passersby all seemed to say
Why the fuck are you singing?
What right do you have to smile that wide?
But if this life ended right now I might die happy tonight

But then the doubts came rushing in, the line between brave and foolish is cut pretty damn thin
Am I delusional? Maybe I’m wrong. Indifferent crowds and empty shows only hold up for so long
But I think back to all the moments that I never would have had if I agreed this was hopeless
It will never bring me money, it drains my sanity and time, but as I stand at the edge of the Venice pier, that fate seems almost fine
So here’s to those uncertain months spent sleeping on helpful floors
And the towns we’ll always remember that we’d never heard of before
Every ounce of black coffee drank under blackened, sleepless eyes
The borders we’d have never crossed if we hadn’t sacrificed
And to all the folks along the way who I’ll never see again
Though we only spent a few hours together, I’ll always call you friends
I would have never stumbled on these thoughts if I hadn’t set my sails
And if I never would have tried then I never could have failed
I feel no shame in failure under this California sky
I never could have failed, if I hadn’t tried
Track Name: Fresno
Outside of Redding the redwoods wait, 3 hours of sleep and I’m back awake
The morning’s silent but for an engine hum, brush my teeth in the river then we move on
3 days stuck in Portland, the van wouldn’t go, desperately scrambled to make the next show
Out of the mountains the desert stares, our minds uncertain what awaits us there

24 hours later my head’s clouded and disturbed, still see the whites of her eyes and hear her words

Stopped for directions at the University, Fresno seemed thriving, it seemed safe and clean
Drove into downtown to find where I’d play, it took but a moment for our minds to change

No, no, no, I never want to go, back across the desert and into Fresno

21st and F Street at load-in time, men worked the corners with suspicious eyes
Buildings all faded, crumbling decay, the time brought darkness, light fled away
With hours came people who filled the streets, fled to the payphones on frantic feet
We drank some tall-cans in the alleyway; there we met Sophie who warned us away

She came out from The Alley Den, soft spoken and polite, she said “you boys gotta move kuz soon come the men with knives”

We shared some drinks together, our spirit’s tired, underneath a halo of razor wire
We asked how they made it here in a town of crumbling brick, she said “we work when theres jobs and pray we don’t get sick”

These streets aren’t forgotten, they’re just ignored, whole blocks abandoned and plied up with boards
A faded marquee that once illuminated the night, now the police helicopter the only light

And the man in the van had a gun in his hand and bad plans within his eyes
He drove up the streets then all the folks came running
And Sophie was gone just a little too long, Cam and I asked what had we done
Then out of The Alley Den she came stumbling
Sophie lost her husband then her house back in Berkeley and she misses them so much goddamn it hurts
In Fresno she found the drugs, but they ain’t working and all that she’s got left now is The Church
She said she likes it best on Sunday mornings, it’s a chance for all of them to start again
And when they sing their songs it don’t seem like they’ve been struggling, just folks trying to make their way off hope and friends
No, no, no, I never want to go, back across the desert and into Fresno
Track Name: I Hope You Say No To Nothing
I wish this was how each summer night ended, with my chest and you pressed against it
Sitting on my porch talking of all the places we know we’ll go
And I wish the hardest that life got was smoking cigarettes with you in the parking lot
The shopping lights hanging over, the few things we know for sure
But it’s not and you’re leaving, I could see you retreating
New Years Day on a barroom floor I asked where did you go?
And these walls we’ve been building, necessary and unfulfilling
It feels like an important shot I’ll never get to take at all

And I’ve found one problem with the travelling spirit
When you got some words but you know it’s best if they don’t hear it

I hope you say no to nothing, kuz in the coming weeks
You’ll meet a million men more handsome with more charming words than me
And on a night you never want to end, that’s perfect, dark, and still
Know I’d rather walk alone than see you unfulfilled

I wish every winter morning started with you fast asleep and you’re clothes discarded
Across my bedroom floor, I’d lie awake and we’d face the day
Your words confirm what I believe, that life’s a fuse not a penitentiary
We make the best of our burning time, it’s why we go away
But I’m here and you’re gone, daylight lasts 8 hours long
I’m trudging through these same old steps while your feet cover new ground
I tried my very best with silence and awkwardness
There’s a million things I’d like to have said but thought it best not to make a sound

And I know too well the problems with staying behind
You hope for preservation while the world opens their mind

I hope you say no to nothing kuz in the next few days
You might find a man or moment who could steal your breath away
But on a night you only want to end when optimism’s killed
Know I think the world of you and I always will

But the powerlessness of it all will make you curse what lacks above
Kuz her words could nearly stop your heart and her body boils your blood
And you’d give anything just to touch her skin by the salt of a seaside view
You only want what’s best for her even if it don’t include you

I hope you say no to nothing so when you get back home
You’re not losing sleep on what could have been, it’s much better that we know
I hope you say no to nothing up through your final days
We’re nothing more than bones and blood and the chances that we take
It’s for those very reasons that I gotta speak my mind
When we hear those songs about leaving, we don’t assume we’re who’s left behind
I tried my best to fight these thoughts but it felt so wrong
Kuz I would never hold you back but if you wanted to hold on
Then we could both say no to nothing with the knowledge that we left
Behind this routine of mortgages, work then sleep then death
But if on those nights you never want to end, it’s not me by your side
As long as you’re laughing hard then that’s alright
Track Name: Rookie
The record of my life keeps skipping when I need it to play right through
It’s all the same and familiar but it’s not a challenge, it’s nothing new
I’m 23 and still a rookie, just hurting for some action
Am I getting beaten down by the world or am I gonna chase my passions?

We gotta leave now to fill this hole that burns inside no matter where we go
If live is for the living we’d best be on our way
We can’t sleep now, we’re almost home and this grey town’s the only thing I know
Between dead and dying is not gonna be my place

I see lives getting swallowed by the city and others leaving it behind
I’m not one for jealousy but their decisiveness plagues my mind
I don’t wanna end up just another what if in an office or at the bar
Maybe my only chance for redemption comes with these words and this guitar

A dollar is a dollar, a day is a day
Some wounds heal but dreams will never fade

We gotta leave now
We gotta leave now
Track Name: "How'd You Like A Putter To The Face?"
I wanna slit my throat when I hear the news
That people still can’t marry who they love or choose
I wanna live for free with a downtown view
A big balcony with a sight of the sunset to
I wanna run away, and find somewhere calm
Where nights turn to chaos and The Clash plays all night long

Deluded idealist to still have thoughts so tall
Or maybe I’m just dumb enough to still think we could have it all

I wanna go to bed tired and wake up ready
With that girl pressed to my chest, content and breathing heavy
I want Ezra Levant in a bloody heap
Saying sorry for the wrong he’s done at indigenous feet
I wanna break him down and break down walls
I wanna hop some trains and cliff-jump off waterfalls
I wanna spit clichés and yell ‘it’s kuz they’re true’
And watch this town burn, but only if it’s with you
I want her barely clothed and her eyes impatient
I want one more night kuz I know I wouldn’t waste it

Maybe I’m too serious; maybe I’m too far gone
I know I took the harder path, it don’t mean that it’s wrong
Deluded idealist to still have thoughts so tall
Or maybe I’m just dumb enough to still think we could have it all

Each night spent solo, in one bedroom with too many thoughts
And each day it gets harder to believe in the nothing I’ve got
Just some stories, some songs about still believing
They say our time is borrowed; I’m more than fine with stealing
We’re still believing