I fled that place, I ignored the masses, I’m a beggar drinking from a noble glass And I don’t deserve the view on this island, or the pain that came with love’s violence Was I curious, or was this escape? There was nothing left for me in that place So I embarked off for something new, now I sit above this emerald blue I thought water this color, might have been a lie The night is calm and so am I I will exhale slowly then count myself lucky There’s beauty just below my feet and a rolling sky above me And though there have been lessons, I wish I’d never learned I’ve seen people set now it’s my turn To show myself what I know I’m made of, kuz disillusion it isn’t native To who we are or what we can be, so I’ll walk these foreign unfamiliar streets With humble eyes and the boldest intentions, where S.A.D is never claimed or mentioned Ignoring any other circumstance, beyond what’s right in front of me, or in my hands And I’ll pick myself up, when I surely fall When I miss home or her or nothing at all I will breathe in deeply and then I’ll count my blessings I’m a million miles from what’s easy and the things that I’ve been stressing And I will regain faith by singing songs about how I lost it I’m leaving all my doubts at the nearest crossing

I was taken to a place, a place that breaks it all down Where tragic lives and the best intentions lay buried in the potter’s ground Where people shed tears of joy, where people just cry Where people devote themselves completely and never question why We came from all corners with vague ideas of what it meant to help Hoping to learn of the world at large along with some things about ourselves It was a different language, what I spoke and I felt inside And for the first time I felt like I deserved my rest at night I’ve run my body ragged off excess and manual labour But money, God, and other drugs ain’t ever been my saviour And I’ve called home to east-end ghettos and nice downtown apartments I found more guiding light where the night grows darkest Where the night grows darkest They taught an education I haven’t found on streets or schools Life or death, stillness or breath, and other unforgiving rules The men held their patience, and animals held my heart And I went to bed with a purpose well-fed, embraced in the jungle’s dark I’ve slept on friends and strangers floors, and the back of punk rock vans I’ve wiped stains of blood and complacency off my hands And I’ve seen many footprints stray from what path seems hardest I’m gonna be unafraid to charge into the darkness When I first met Vigo, we tried to make him a home Sick and scared, we fed and held him so he wouldn’t feel alone I sang to him on morning, I buried him that night I watched him breathe his final breaths before the sun had set out of sight And I went to bed so goddamn angry I went to bed so damn confused I went to bed hating what the pessimists keep saying Kuz I have seen what we have lose There’s so much left to lose

It rained again last night like it has the three nights before But rain can’t keep my body behind these doors He said that friends and strangers, can be so damn deceiving He says we’re solitary creatures, but I don’t believe him The stone saints crumble on the park cathedrals Watching over the hustlers and passing people Ex-pats, ex-cons, ex-lovers, and everyone between Some still drunk from the night before, some clean I hiked to a cross overlooking the city, and all of my decisions Identifying failures, clutching to optimism The Sunday Catholics, said their prayers, I sat with silent perspective I’m a million miles from everywhere, what’s my objective? I was swinging through a day of broken conversation; we are our only authors, overcoming isolation I don’t think we’re ever hopeless as long as we trade threat for promise We are our only saviours, in search of something honest

I see you crying across this church-room floor Your Grandma aint sitting where she was two weeks before The casket line, it grows and grows, too many this month is all I know Your favourite souls are somewhere else tonight Death took me back to that gravel Iowa road Grandpa can’t do the chores kuz his flesh has run cold Grandma says she’ll never move from the farm, where they raised kids and horses we’ll bury her heart The boys carry the casket; the others lock their arms tonight Us Grandkids have been drowning in a world of choice Our relatives smile at the sounds of our voice They’ve worked all along, to leave the stage poised Knowing Iowa won’t wait forever And We sing the songs we think they’d like to hear And We say we won’t be defined by what we fear If we live brave and our courage burns strong No loss is in vain and no life’s ever gone With our childhood refrains, The Dead sing along The Dead will sing us to sleep every night And We sing the songs we think they’d like to hear And We say we won’t be defined by what we fear So boys let’s pick up these pens and guitars We’ve never found solace in a house or a bar Come on let’s be men, and follow through these plans Kuz folks living and dead have shown faith in all that we are

I’m sick of talking dreams, let’s discuss the way it is If your dreams are only words they aren’t worth a pint of piss And it’s been so damn long since we were kids, kids, kids If you got a troubled mind then bring it home I met my friends in Florida, we had our own lives to report Conversations turn serious after some bottles and the shit we’d snort The far between victories and where we’re coming up short, short, short But we got high hopes for each other so we bring them home If you’re hunting doubt, I’m sure that you’ll find plenty It’s the most common symptom of our twenties Miller and Loaf mean the world to me and they’ve moved to different coasts When I’m around them I feel stagnant and haunted by the same old ghosts But the laughs they come so easy and that’s what matters most, most, most They challenge me to be better so I bring it home They make this life worth living so I take it home But I got some faith in them, and they hold the same for me My clothes and soul are ragged but I feel so damn lucky I found some shreds of fulfillment in musical poverty And that’s more than most folks ever bring home

Three nights straight she went to bed screaming That’s all that she could do when she woke up It’s a cycle I see her repeating She writes it off as a sacrifice made for love Un-rested in the mornings she clings to believing In empty promises, romance and the myths above And all along she knows what it’s really meaning That her broken heart keeps holding to a broken love Sleepwalkers pay no attention And sleepwalkers ignore the truth Sleepwalkers pay no attention They live their lives afraid of what they might lose You got a boyfriend who doesn’t love you You got a husband who don’t come home at night You got a girlfriend who won’t even touch you Everything looks fine in a liar’s light You used to see clear waters when you were dreaming Now you only wish you could sleep sound You’re holding on to something kuz it’s convenient The love you always wanted has let you down And the hands that you don’t trust can seem so soothing The words that they don’t mean can ease your mind But when you look into the mirror just who are you fooling? You can’t build a future just thinking of the better times And I’ve lied to myself before I’ve lied to myself more than once or twice I held onto things that needed dying But lying to ourselves won’t help us sleep at night I’ve lied to myself before I’ve lied to myself more than once or twice Fuck heartbreak, fuck yesterday We can waste our whole lifetimes away But lying to ourselves won’t help us sleep at night

I sit outside another cancelled show The mountains loom indifferently and coat my guitar with snow It’s just another speed-bump on this highway of disaster I smoke, I sigh and question why and what it is I’m after I think of the optimism gained from months abroad Writing songs and stories, finding pieces of myself that I thought I’d lost Drinks and views, all kinds of bad news, types I will not mention Clocking miles and the kind of smiles that could answer any question But coming home didn’t go as planned, my last few dollars in my hand Jobless, unsure of what’s next and without a place to stay Some friends were quick to open their doors, a sleeping bag on a hard-wood floor Their expressions always seem to say Why the fuck are you smiling? What right do you have to be content? But if this life ended right now I’d say it was time well spent I threw some songs together about my bullshit observations Scribbled words about sex and love, cheap drinks and globalization Plucked the chords on rusted strings at bar and basement shows This terminal wanderlust came back, I had to hit the road Threw myself to highway 5 south’s plans, with 2 great friends in a mini-van Broke down in rural Washington, 3 days in Portland rain Farther than I’d ever played from home, a cancelled Las Vegas show Busking on a casino bridge, the passersby all seemed to say Why the fuck are you singing? What right do you have to smile that wide? But if this life ended right now I might die happy tonight But then the doubts came rushing in, the line between brave and foolish is cut pretty damn thin Am I delusional? Maybe I’m wrong. Indifferent crowds and empty shows only hold up for so long But I think back to all the moments that I never would have had if I agreed this was hopeless It will never bring me money, it drains my sanity and time, but as I stand at the edge of the Venice pier, that fate seems almost fine So here’s to those uncertain months spent sleeping on helpful floors And the towns we’ll always remember that we’d never heard of before Every ounce of black coffee drank under blackened, sleepless eyes The borders we’d have never crossed if we hadn’t sacrificed And to all the folks along the way who I’ll never see again Though we only spent a few hours together, I’ll always call you friends I would have never stumbled on these thoughts if I hadn’t set my sails And if I never would have tried then I never could have failed I feel no shame in failure under this California sky I never could have failed, if I hadn’t tried

Outside of Redding the redwoods wait, 3 hours of sleep and I’m back awake The morning’s silent but for an engine hum, brush my teeth in the river then we move on 3 days stuck in Portland, the van wouldn’t go, desperately scrambled to make the next show Out of the mountains the desert stares, our minds uncertain what awaits us there 24 hours later my head’s clouded and disturbed, still see the whites of her eyes and hear her words Stopped for directions at the University, Fresno seemed thriving, it seemed safe and clean Drove into downtown to find where I’d play, it took but a moment for our minds to change No, no, no, I never want to go, back across the desert and into Fresno 21st and F Street at load-in time, men worked the corners with suspicious eyes Buildings all faded, crumbling decay, the time brought darkness, light fled away With hours came people who filled the streets, fled to the payphones on frantic feet We drank some tall-cans in the alleyway; there we met Sophie who warned us away She came out from The Alley Den, soft spoken and polite, she said “you boys gotta move kuz soon come the men with knives” We shared some drinks together, our spirit’s tired, underneath a halo of razor wire We asked how they made it here in a town of crumbling brick, she said “we work when theres jobs and pray we don’t get sick” These streets aren’t forgotten, they’re just ignored, whole blocks abandoned and plied up with boards A faded marquee that once illuminated the night, now the police helicopter the only light And the man in the van had a gun in his hand and bad plans within his eyes He drove up the streets then all the folks came running And Sophie was gone just a little too long, Cam and I asked what had we done Then out of The Alley Den she came stumbling Sophie lost her husband then her house back in Berkeley and she misses them so much goddamn it hurts In Fresno she found the drugs, but they ain’t working and all that she’s got left now is The Church She said she likes it best on Sunday mornings, it’s a chance for all of them to start again And when they sing their songs it don’t seem like they’ve been struggling, just folks trying to make their way off hope and friends No, no, no, I never want to go, back across the desert and into Fresno

I wish this was how each summer night ended, with my chest and you pressed against it Sitting on my porch talking of all the places we know we’ll go And I wish the hardest that life got was smoking cigarettes with you in the parking lot The shopping lights hanging over, the few things we know for sure But it’s not and you’re leaving, I could see you retreating New Years Day on a barroom floor I asked where did you go? And these walls we’ve been building, necessary and unfulfilling It feels like an important shot I’ll never get to take at all And I’ve found one problem with the travelling spirit When you got some words but you know it’s best if they don’t hear it I hope you say no to nothing, kuz in the coming weeks You’ll meet a million men more handsome with more charming words than me And on a night you never want to end, that’s perfect, dark, and still Know I’d rather walk alone than see you unfulfilled I wish every winter morning started with you fast asleep and you’re clothes discarded Across my bedroom floor, I’d lie awake and we’d face the day Your words confirm what I believe, that life’s a fuse not a penitentiary We make the best of our burning time, it’s why we go away But I’m here and you’re gone, daylight lasts 8 hours long I’m trudging through these same old steps while your feet cover new ground I tried my very best with silence and awkwardness There’s a million things I’d like to have said but thought it best not to make a sound And I know too well the problems with staying behind You hope for preservation while the world opens their mind I hope you say no to nothing kuz in the next few days You might find a man or moment who could steal your breath away But on a night you only want to end when optimism’s killed Know I think the world of you and I always will But the powerlessness of it all will make you curse what lacks above Kuz her words could nearly stop your heart and her body boils your blood And you’d give anything just to touch her skin by the salt of a seaside view You only want what’s best for her even if it don’t include you I hope you say no to nothing so when you get back home You’re not losing sleep on what could have been, it’s much better that we know I hope you say no to nothing up through your final days We’re nothing more than bones and blood and the chances that we take It’s for those very reasons that I gotta speak my mind When we hear those songs about leaving, we don’t assume we’re who’s left behind I tried my best to fight these thoughts but it felt so wrong Kuz I would never hold you back but if you wanted to hold on Then we could both say no to nothing with the knowledge that we left Behind this routine of mortgages, work then sleep then death But if on those nights you never want to end, it’s not me by your side As long as you’re laughing hard then that’s alright

The record of my life keeps skipping when I need it to play right through It’s all the same and familiar but it’s not a challenge, it’s nothing new I’m 23 and still a rookie, just hurting for some action Am I getting beaten down by the world or am I gonna chase my passions? We gotta leave now to fill this hole that burns inside no matter where we go If live is for the living we’d best be on our way We can’t sleep now, we’re almost home and this grey town’s the only thing I know Between dead and dying is not gonna be my place I see lives getting swallowed by the city and others leaving it behind I’m not one for jealousy but their decisiveness plagues my mind I don’t wanna end up just another what if in an office or at the bar Maybe my only chance for redemption comes with these words and this guitar A dollar is a dollar, a day is a day Some wounds heal but dreams will never fade We gotta leave now We gotta leave now

I wanna slit my throat when I hear the news That people still can’t marry who they love or choose I wanna live for free with a downtown view A big balcony with a sight of the sunset to I wanna run away, and find somewhere calm Where nights turn to chaos and The Clash plays all night long Deluded idealist to still have thoughts so tall Or maybe I’m just dumb enough to still think we could have it all I wanna go to bed tired and wake up ready With that girl pressed to my chest, content and breathing heavy I want Ezra Levant in a bloody heap Saying sorry for the wrong he’s done at indigenous feet I wanna break him down and break down walls I wanna hop some trains and cliff-jump off waterfalls I wanna spit clichés and yell ‘it’s kuz they’re true’ And watch this town burn, but only if it’s with you I want her barely clothed and her eyes impatient I want one more night kuz I know I wouldn’t waste it Maybe I’m too serious; maybe I’m too far gone I know I took the harder path, it don’t mean that it’s wrong Deluded idealist to still have thoughts so tall Or maybe I’m just dumb enough to still think we could have it all Each night spent solo, in one bedroom with too many thoughts And each day it gets harder to believe in the nothing I’ve got Just some stories, some songs about still believing They say our time is borrowed; I’m more than fine with stealing We’re still believing